Blessings

As I sit here, I can hear my sweet Mae snarggling away in her sleep. She is one noisy sleeper! I love the sweet grunty noises she makes; there's something so innocent about those noises. I may not be able to type long because she is in the process of waking up. And I'm sure Zee will be awake soon as well.

Our girls are such blessings to J and me! They help define us and make us better people. I'm so excited to raise these little people into good and kind beings. I love seeing all of the changes day in and day out. And even the hard days leave me smiling because, well...these little girls are amazing! The things that Zee comes up with (she is SUCH a little thinker! Her thought processes just amaze me...), or the sweet new baby smiles that Maggie so freely gives. No bad day can overshadow those perfect little moments.

As we were driving Zee to her Mother's Day Out program today, J "cawed" like a crow, and Zee said, "No, Daddy!" Joel asked her why he couldn't caw, and she answered, "That for the birds to say!" So he then asked her when he could talk to the birds, and she said, "When there a bird, Daddy!" It was the funniest and cutest conversation, and it really showed me how much Zee can understand now. Just one little insight into my bright girl's mind!

Introducing Mae!

I realize that it's been almost a month, but...well, things have been busy to say the least! And here's why....

On Thursday and Friday (9/25-9/26), I started having signs of impending labor (all the lovely stuff - losing mucus plug, braxton hicks contractions, etc.). I called my midwife and informed her that it might be happening soon, and I started getting excited. So then comes Saturday, September 27, my due date. And nothing. I mean NOTHING. Not even a single contraction. I figured that I would be pregnant for a while longer, so I wasn't terribly disappointed, but there's something about going over your due date. It's a little depressing and a little frightening. The apprehension keeps building.

So, I woke up at 1 am on the 28th to go pee. I noticed that things were really wet down below, so I turned on the bathroom light to check it out. It was bloody show! Something was happening! I went back to bed excited, but every time I rolled over, I felt fluid leaking out. After an hour of this, I decided to go check things out. I turned on the bathroom light again, and my undies were SOAKED despite my pantiliner. I hadn't realized that much fluid was gushing out! I called for J to bring me a new pair of underwear, and he was a little put off, seeing as it was 2 am, lol. I told him that I though my water had broken, but he didn't seem impressed. I think he wanted to go back to bed! I decided to call my mom and then my midwife. My midwife told me to try to get as much sleep as I could and to call her once contractions started. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 am.

At about 5 am, I woke up to light contractions about ten minutes apart. I lay in bed for about an hour timing them, and they got closer, about six minutes apart. J got up at 5:45 to get ready for work, and I had to remind him that my water had broken and that I didn't think he should go into work that day. We hung out for a while, and I finally called my midwife back at about 8:30 to tell her that my contraction were about six minutes apart. She told me she was on her way over.

After we hung up, my contractions started coming about 3-4 minutes apart, and that's when I knew it was really going to happen! The midwife got to our house and started setting up, though I was still somewhat in denial. Since my labor with Zee was ridiculously long, I thought this labor would go on for a while as well. I didn't think it was necessary to start setting up so early, but she thought it was a good idea. Better too early than too late, is what she said.

The midwife's preceptor happened to be at a birth, so she had to call in another midwife from the Atlanta area. She had never met this midwife in person, so of course I hadn't met her either, not that I was bothered by that. My midwife also had her apprentice come over then. So, I had three women to help me labor, and it was so perfect. I really needed all of them...they each supported me in their own way, and I needed it all.

I labored all day long. At around 2 pm, I got in the birth tub at the midwives' insistence. It slowed my contractions, so I got out. J came in and asked me to take my pants and underwear off because according to the midwives, it was affected my mental progress. I had a bit of a hard time walking around pantsless, but they gave me my privacy, which I appreciated. By this point, my contractions were getting to be really painful...I was starting to enter the "I can't do this" stage. My midwife asked if I would feel better if she checked my dilation, and I said yes. It wasn't good...I was only four centimeters dilated.

This was the hardest part mentally. I knew I had time to go to the hospital and get an epidural. This is when I really started needing my midwives' and J's support. They got me through this period beautifully! About two hours later, my midwife checked me again and I was 7-8 centimeters, and I knew that I wasn't going to the hospital then. My labor was insanely painful, though I don't remember it as much now. My midwife tried to manually stretch my cervix, but it was way too painful for me, and I begged her to stop. She told me that if she could just hold back my cervix that the baby would be there in no time. I couldn't handle it though, so she stopped. I labored for a bit longer, and she checked me again. I was fully dilated except for a bit of lip.

At this point, my cervix was starting to swell, so my midwife insisted on holding back the lip and having me push. The funny thing about this part of my labor is that I remember screaming at my midwife to please stop, but according to her I didn't scream. They had me try several different positions: on my hands and knees on the bed, hugging the birth ball, the birth tub. What worked best (really what worked for most of my labor) was squatting. I stood at the end of my bed while my midwife held my cervix, and I pushed and begged my midwife to stop. Finally I was begging her to take her hands out of me, and she showed me both of her hands. "That's the baby's head you're feeling, not my hands!" I can honestly say that even though I say her hands, I did not believe her. They all yelled at me to push, and I pushed and pushed as hard as I possibly could. I thought I was going to collapse from pushing so hard. I was standing at the end of the bed, with my left leg on my midwife's shoulder, Joel supporting my wobbling right leg, and all of a sudden they yelled, "Her head is out!" I again didn't believe them! In the next moment, I pushed Mae out (sunny side up!), and they handed her to me. They helped me over to the bed, and I got to finally rest and look at my baby.

I was still in a good deal of pain, and quite a bit of shock that I actually had my baby in my arms. Within about 15 minutes, I had delivered the placenta. They brought Zee in to meet her sister, and one of the first things she said was, "Her hair is brownies! And red!" The red was blood from my minor tear. I couldn't believe how perceptive Izzy was! After about an hour, J cut the cord, and I got to take a shower. They did the newborn exam, and Mae weighed 8 lbs 3 oz! Over a pound heavier than Zee! Finally, my midwife stitched me up, cleaned up the mess, packed up and left. Four hours after Mae was born, we were all alone as a family of four.

All in all...it was perfect. I wouldn't have said that directly after the birth, lol, but now that I'm almost a month out I can say it. It was perfect. And I still can't believe I did it!

Mae is the sweetest little being. I feel so overly protective of her. She is very cuddly, and I end up holding her for hours and hours, but I can't bear to let her go. She is a very efficient nurser, and nursing has been going well since the beginning. She doesn't look much like Zee did, but she's super cute. She has crazy hair (J calls it her "mad scientist" hair!) with some bright copper highlights. She is just wonderful, and I'm so so in love!